Ep 63 Embracing Sacred Intimacy with Ashley Miley

Today I talk with Ashely Miley, a sacred intimacy coach, about how we can develop a deeper connection with the our sensuality and sexuality. With our life force energy. Ashley talks about her own journey of connecting with her sexuality after long periods of disconnection from her body and what was helpful for her. We discussed how trauma, particularly for people with a history of sexual trauma, disconnects us from our bodies as a strategy of protection and how we can understand that when we look through the contextual lenses of the nervous system and embodiment.

Ashely studied music at University and was an orchestral oboe player. For many years this gave her an avenue for self-expression however it got to a point where the rules and processes of a professional classical music career became too constricting for her and she was not able to express who she was anymore. This lead her to pursue training in sexuality and relationship coaching. We talk about this was a natural avenue into connecting with her life force energy and embodied expression.

We also discussed:

• How sensuality is a fabulous bridge to pleasure and often a great starting point when we are feeling really disconnected from our body,

• We define sacred intimacy and what is actually means in partnership and for also developing a very deep connection with ourselves,

• How sacred intimacy can take us from performance to pleasure particularly when we are in long term relationships where we might experience intimacy as something we do rather than something we feel,

• What foundation conditions need to be in place for couple’s to experience greater intimancy especially when their is a history of trauma within the relationship,

• How reclaiming our sexuality in midlife can be incredibly healing.

You can find Ashely at www.thesacredintimacytemple.com .

Ep 59 Why we Fawn with Rae Halder

Many people have heard of Flight, Fight and Freeze when it comes to our autonomic nervous system’s defence responses but not all of us have heard of Fawn. Fawning is a pretty sophisticated response that shows up as people pleasing or appeasement. Some practitioners also call it hypersocialisation. We fawn to stay in connection with others, to stay safe. The tricky thing about Fawning is that it can sometimes look like it is a personality trait which I guess we could say is true for many responses driven by Trauma.

Today I talk with Rae Halder who is a somatic trauma resolution practitioner about the Fawning response. Rae is a fantastic person to talk about this and she works with many clients with strong Fawn responses.

We also get into talking about sexual fawning and how that shows up in our intimate relationships. When we say yes to intimacy because our brain says yes but our body is a big No to it. What happens when we do this repeatedly and how does it get in the way of authentic connection with our partners and lovers.

You will hear us talk about many different aspects of trauma healing when it comes to the Fawn response, how it shows up in our body when it gets sick of us doing it repeatedly, why we do it, what is underneath it all and how can we connect with our erotic imprints.

If you would like to take the Erotic Blueprints quiz we talk about in the podcast here is the link.

You can find Rae on her website www.raehalder.com, on instagram @rachel.rae.halder or on her FB page