Today I talk with Ashely Miley, a sacred intimacy coach, about how we can develop a deeper connection with the our sensuality and sexuality. With our life force energy. Ashley talks about her own journey of connecting with her sexuality after long periods of disconnection from her body and what was helpful for her. We discussed how trauma, particularly for people with a history of sexual trauma, disconnects us from our bodies as a strategy of protection and how we can understand that when we look through the contextual lenses of the nervous system and embodiment.

Ashely studied music at University and was an orchestral oboe player. For many years this gave her an avenue for self-expression however it got to a point where the rules and processes of a professional classical music career became too constricting for her and she was not able to express who she was anymore. This lead her to pursue training in sexuality and relationship coaching. We talk about this was a natural avenue into connecting with her life force energy and embodied expression.

We also discussed:

How sensuality is a fabulous bridge to pleasure and often a great starting point when we are feeling really disconnected from our body,
We define sacred intimacy and what is actually means in partnership and for also developing a very deep connection with ourselves,
How sacred intimacy can take us from performance to pleasure particularly when we are in long term relationships where we might experience intimacy as something we do rather than something we feel,
What foundation conditions need to be in place for couple’s to experience greater intimancy especially when their is a history of trauma within the relationship,
How reclaiming our sexuality in midlife can be incredibly healing.

You can find Ashely at www.thesacredintimacytemple.com .

Today I am talking to the fabulous Heidi Trudinger about midlife relationships. Our bodies go through huge changes at midlife and women in particular feel the change more acutely due to the hormonal dropoff of perimenopause. Men go through their own hormonal change with Andropause however the hormonal shifts are small each year and the decline is steadier.

All of this impacts how we feel about our bodies and our imprint on ageing that we learned through both our family system and culturally, has a huge impact on our ability to embrace our changing bodies at midlife. Most of the fear that we experience around ageing is not about getting old it is actually about dying and Heidi and talked quite a bit about this.

How do we sustain sexual intimacy at midlife with all these changes? Well it is not too hard but for most of us it is about learning about what sex actually is; something few of us learned when we were younger. It is about learning what true intimacy is and how to hold space for that with each other.

We also discussed:

Self love as an antidote to ageing and how to find that,
Embracing the Maga (archetype) at midlife really understanding what our individual expression of that that is and how it is different to the Crone,
How we can reconnect with the playful parts of ourselves, parts we have often buried deep in our unconscious, to reinvigorate our relationship,
How our body brings up old trauma for resolution at this transition and what a gift that can be,
How deep rest is incredibly sustaining for our bodies and is part of our erotic practice,
How our midlife transition is a portal for us to claim our authentic sexual selves and how we might start the path to explore this aspect of our selves.

You can find Heidi at heiditrue.com.au. She is also on instagram @true.intimacy and Facebook

Ep 63 Embracing Sacred Intimacy with Ashley Miley

Ep 55 Finding true intimacy at midlife with Heidi Trudinger