Ep 63 Embracing Sacred Intimacy with Ashley Miley

Today I talk with Ashely Miley, a sacred intimacy coach, about how we can develop a deeper connection with the our sensuality and sexuality. With our life force energy. Ashley talks about her own journey of connecting with her sexuality after long periods of disconnection from her body and what was helpful for her. We discussed how trauma, particularly for people with a history of sexual trauma, disconnects us from our bodies as a strategy of protection and how we can understand that when we look through the contextual lenses of the nervous system and embodiment.

Ashely studied music at University and was an orchestral oboe player. For many years this gave her an avenue for self-expression however it got to a point where the rules and processes of a professional classical music career became too constricting for her and she was not able to express who she was anymore. This lead her to pursue training in sexuality and relationship coaching. We talk about this was a natural avenue into connecting with her life force energy and embodied expression.

We also discussed:

• How sensuality is a fabulous bridge to pleasure and often a great starting point when we are feeling really disconnected from our body,

• We define sacred intimacy and what is actually means in partnership and for also developing a very deep connection with ourselves,

• How sacred intimacy can take us from performance to pleasure particularly when we are in long term relationships where we might experience intimacy as something we do rather than something we feel,

• What foundation conditions need to be in place for couple’s to experience greater intimancy especially when their is a history of trauma within the relationship,

• How reclaiming our sexuality in midlife can be incredibly healing.

You can find Ashely at www.thesacredintimacytemple.com .

Ep 62 Ageing on your own terms

One of the most challenging aspects of midlife transition for many women is coming to terms with our own mortality and ageing. The paradigm is indeed different for men, there is more acceptance of the ageing man with grey hair. But for women, aside from menopause, there is great fear in ageing and becoming irrelevant. This largely has been perpetuated by the cosmetics industry and popular culture. How many role models of women ageing on their own terms do we see in the media, social media or television and films?

In this podcast, I talk with Faith Agugu, psychotherapist and founder of Silver Sirens, an ageing positive community for women over 50+. We discuss why the traditional narrative around ageing for women is not only limiting but harmful to wisdoms self-esteem and well-being. the research shows when you embrace your second half of life with curiousity and confidence you are setting yourself up to live well.

In the podcast we discuss:

• How the narrative we were told about ageing as a child greatly influences how we approach our own ageing process,

• How popular culture and media impacts how we feel about our bodies and mental health as we age,

• How fear drives increased stress in our lives in this transition and what is misunderstood about getting older,

• How there is a different paradigm of ageing for women than there is for men,

• How many women describe midlife as a time when old identities fall away—roles, ways of being, expectations. What we see as therapists of this transition emerge when women are supported through that transition well?

• The common myths Faith would love to dispel about ageing,

• How intergenerational wisdom around ageing can be passed down through family systems,

• What Faith believes is the most compassionate first step you can take as you approach both midlife or elderhood.

You can find Faith through her therapy practice The Healing Process or her community group Silver Sirens

or on instagram or Facebook..

Ep 61 A map for growth and healing

A quick little podcast with just me today. I have been reflecting on how some people struggle through growth and healing, more in terms of being lost in the liminal space. In the darkness we might say. I did write a blog about the anatomy of life transitions where I talked about it a few months ago but I think with a podcast you can sometimes say a little bit more.

Recently, I had an experience where something of mine came up again and I was thinking wow I have all the resources, training and skills to know what is going on. What I noticed is that the impact of it was significantly less than in the past. Minimal really. It was more a noticing and then I was able to resource myself.

So often, when people begin trauma healing or embark on a personal growth journey, they imagine it will be a straight line: one step after another, always moving forward, never looking back. But real healing and growth rarely follow that kind of neat, linear path. Instead, they are more like a spiral or a tide, flowing in cycles, circling back, rising and falling.

Healing also has the rhythm of the tide. There are moments of expansion, clarity, and energy—like the incoming tide that fills and nourishes. And there are moments of retreat, rest, and stillness—like the tide going out, leaving space for reflection and integration. Neither state is better or worse; both are necessary.

When we expect healing to be linear, we can feel shame or discouragement when old triggers resurface or when we find ourselves “back where we started. Recognising this cyclical rhythm allows us to meet ourselves with more compassion.

Ep 60 Transforming Relationships with Caroline Shahbaz

Caroline Shahbaz is a colleague, mentor and friend who I am so happy to talk to today. She is a meta psychotherapist, who is deeply experienced and who has trained in many different therapeutic modalities. She is a Clinical Psychologist, has a masters degree in Depth Psychology, is trained in Family Constellations work, is a certified in providing psilocybin assisted therapy and has trained in many wisdom traditions and modalities. Caroline is also a member of the kink community and she trains other therapists how to work with Kink and BDSM.

We talk about how relationships are crucibles for our transformation and growth throughout our lifetime. They trigger our core wounds so that we may heal and burn away who we think we are. We learn how to be in relationships through our family system and internalise much of this from our parents and caregivers, but we are born into a cultural narrative or story that shaped you and often our growth is about reclaiming part of that or alternatively it may be about letting go what we no longer need.

You will also hear:

• Understanding the midlife narrative through the Jungian Lens. We also apply an astrological frame to it (Neptune square Neptune),

• How our hormones and the changing hormonal cocktail we have facilitates changes through our lifetime,

• Understanding the deeper architecture that drives the general level of dissatisfaction in midlife many of us experience,

• The Hero and Heroines Journey and how they are an archetypal framework for the many initiations we face in our lifetime,

• The concept of the Shadow and how it plays out in our relational life,

• The different alchemical stages of relationship transformation.

Caroline runs a program called Transforming Relationships that is for couples and individuals who want to explore themselves deeply in a group container.

You can find Caroline at Transformingrelationships.com.au or metapsychotherapy.com