Ep 62 Ageing on your own terms

One of the most challenging aspects of midlife transition for many women is coming to terms with our own mortality and ageing. The paradigm is indeed different for men, there is more acceptance of the ageing man with grey hair. But for women, aside from menopause, there is great fear in ageing and becoming irrelevant. This largely has been perpetuated by the cosmetics industry and popular culture. How many role models of women ageing on their own terms do we see in the media, social media or television and films?

In this podcast, I talk with Faith Agugu, psychotherapist and founder of Silver Sirens, an ageing positive community for women over 50+. We discuss why the traditional narrative around ageing for women is not only limiting but harmful to wisdoms self-esteem and well-being. the research shows when you embrace your second half of life with curiousity and confidence you are setting yourself up to live well.

In the podcast we discuss:

• How the narrative we were told about ageing as a child greatly influences how we approach our own ageing process,

• How popular culture and media impacts how we feel about our bodies and mental health as we age,

• How fear drives increased stress in our lives in this transition and what is misunderstood about getting older,

• How there is a different paradigm of ageing for women than there is for men,

• How many women describe midlife as a time when old identities fall away—roles, ways of being, expectations. What we see as therapists of this transition emerge when women are supported through that transition well?

• The common myths Faith would love to dispel about ageing,

• How intergenerational wisdom around ageing can be passed down through family systems,

• What Faith believes is the most compassionate first step you can take as you approach both midlife or elderhood.

You can find Faith through her therapy practice The Healing Process or her community group Silver Sirens

or on instagram or Facebook..

Ep 61 A map for growth and healing

A quick little podcast with just me today. I have been reflecting on how some people struggle through growth and healing, more in terms of being lost in the liminal space. In the darkness we might say. I did write a blog about the anatomy of life transitions where I talked about it a few months ago but I think with a podcast you can sometimes say a little bit more.

Recently, I had an experience where something of mine came up again and I was thinking wow I have all the resources, training and skills to know what is going on. What I noticed is that the impact of it was significantly less than in the past. Minimal really. It was more a noticing and then I was able to resource myself.

So often, when people begin trauma healing or embark on a personal growth journey, they imagine it will be a straight line: one step after another, always moving forward, never looking back. But real healing and growth rarely follow that kind of neat, linear path. Instead, they are more like a spiral or a tide, flowing in cycles, circling back, rising and falling.

Healing also has the rhythm of the tide. There are moments of expansion, clarity, and energy—like the incoming tide that fills and nourishes. And there are moments of retreat, rest, and stillness—like the tide going out, leaving space for reflection and integration. Neither state is better or worse; both are necessary.

When we expect healing to be linear, we can feel shame or discouragement when old triggers resurface or when we find ourselves “back where we started. Recognising this cyclical rhythm allows us to meet ourselves with more compassion.

Ep 60 Transforming Relationships with Caroline Shahbaz

Caroline Shahbaz is a colleague, mentor and friend who I am so happy to talk to today. She is a meta psychotherapist, who is deeply experienced and who has trained in many different therapeutic modalities. She is a Clinical Psychologist, has a masters degree in Depth Psychology, is trained in Family Constellations work, is a certified in providing psilocybin assisted therapy and has trained in many wisdom traditions and modalities. Caroline is also a member of the kink community and she trains other therapists how to work with Kink and BDSM.

We talk about how relationships are crucibles for our transformation and growth throughout our lifetime. They trigger our core wounds so that we may heal and burn away who we think we are. We learn how to be in relationships through our family system and internalise much of this from our parents and caregivers, but we are born into a cultural narrative or story that shaped you and often our growth is about reclaiming part of that or alternatively it may be about letting go what we no longer need.

You will also hear:

• Understanding the midlife narrative through the Jungian Lens. We also apply an astrological frame to it (Neptune square Neptune),

• How our hormones and the changing hormonal cocktail we have facilitates changes through our lifetime,

• Understanding the deeper architecture that drives the general level of dissatisfaction in midlife many of us experience,

• The Hero and Heroines Journey and how they are an archetypal framework for the many initiations we face in our lifetime,

• The concept of the Shadow and how it plays out in our relational life,

• The different alchemical stages of relationship transformation.

Caroline runs a program called Transforming Relationships that is for couples and individuals who want to explore themselves deeply in a group container.

You can find Caroline at Transformingrelationships.com.au or metapsychotherapy.com

Ep 59 Why we Fawn with Rae Halder

Many people have heard of Flight, Fight and Freeze when it comes to our autonomic nervous system’s defence responses but not all of us have heard of Fawn. Fawning is a pretty sophisticated response that shows up as people pleasing or appeasement. Some practitioners also call it hypersocialisation. We fawn to stay in connection with others, to stay safe. The tricky thing about Fawning is that it can sometimes look like it is a personality trait which I guess we could say is true for many responses driven by Trauma.

Today I talk with Rae Halder who is a somatic trauma resolution practitioner about the Fawning response. Rae is a fantastic person to talk about this and she works with many clients with strong Fawn responses.

We also get into talking about sexual fawning and how that shows up in our intimate relationships. When we say yes to intimacy because our brain says yes but our body is a big No to it. What happens when we do this repeatedly and how does it get in the way of authentic connection with our partners and lovers.

You will hear us talk about many different aspects of trauma healing when it comes to the Fawn response, how it shows up in our body when it gets sick of us doing it repeatedly, why we do it, what is underneath it all and how can we connect with our erotic imprints.

If you would like to take the Erotic Blueprints quiz we talk about in the podcast here is the link.

You can find Rae on her website www.raehalder.com, on instagram @rachel.rae.halder or on her FB page

Ep 58 Understanding Human Design with Moira Cormack

Today I am talking to Moira Cormack, my multi talented colleague and friend about Human Design. I have to tell you this podcast was a lot of fun because Moira is fun. Moira is a coach, parenting expert, human design expert and all round super human being. This is Moira’s third time on my podcast, if you didn’t catch the last two on inner child and creativity you should check them out also.

Moira doesn’t so much go into the different human design profile, rather she gives us the bigger context of why we would use Human Design. How does it help us be more human, how does it help us connect with our deeper self.

We talked about:

• Why we would use Human Design and how, at this point in time, Human Design is helpful to people to further their personal growth and development,

• How life is made up of many decisions and choices we make each day and how human design helps us, through understanding our profile, how to better make decisions to align with our energy system in our body,

• How many of us end up in careers, influenced by our family systems, not doing what we really love and how knowing our design helps us to choose work that is more aligned with our natural gifts and energy systems,

• How energy systems in different types work and why not listening to our body leads to health issues,

• How when we move outside our design, we often experience a discordant note or emotion and this is a sign we are not listening to our body.

You can find Moira on Gates of the Moon FB Group, on instagram she is @moira_coach and she has a substack she writes on.

Ep 56 Art, a resource for all of us, with Gemma Donnellan

Today I am talking with Gemma Donnellan who is an artist and art curator, a creator of community and a natural born network. Gemma has a gift of bringing people together around art. Gemma began her career as an artist which she has created over time whilst working full time and also being a stay at home parent. She has spent many years painting, in community, before moving back into a curatorial role, bringing emerging and established artists together in exhibitions.

Gemma is skilled in how she pulls together different artists to curate art shows of diverse pieces of art that seem to have a common thread running through them that you can only work out once you have looked at all the paintings.

She has created networks for women to come together around art in her quarterly sessions she calls Reciprocity, where ideas are shared, provocative conversations created around topics of interest.

In the podcast we talked about:

• Art as a support for all of us in tough times and the healing power of art,

• We talked about the creativity that exists within all of us and expressed in our own unique ways,

• The healing power of art and how we can express what sits deeply within us, bypassing the rational part of our brain and express from the deepest parts of ourselves,

• How to choose art for your own personal collection. Whilst buying art can be overwhelming we don’t have to buy the most expensive piece but rather what speaks to us and evokes an emotional response.

You can find Gemma at www.artfortoday.com.au, on instagram @artfortoday and facebook

Ep 54 Understanding Burnout with Dr Ashlea Broomfield

Burnout is a complex health syndrome that we seem to be hearing more cases of everyday. I am seeing it more and more in workplaces and working with people moving trough big life transitions. So I have been deeply curious about it for the last couple of years and wanting to talk to a guest about it on my podcast. Who better to discuss than Dr Ashlea Broomfield - The Vitality Doctor.

Dr Ash is a specialist GP, sexologist, Mind-Body Therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Meditation Coach and Credentialed Eating Disorder Clinician. Dr Ash is invested in her patients health holistically, she is invested in supporting patients to flourish holistically as a whole person, mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually.

Today we talked about Burnout. What is it? How does it come about? Is it a workplace issue or a cultural issue. Given the culture we live in how can we resource and nourish our bodies to ensure this doesn’t happen to us. We talked about the body as a whole system and that our health exists and is influenced by the environments that we exist within.

We also discussed:

• Women’s menstruality, their menarche, motherhood and menopause and how these big changes to our endocrine system and the roles that we take up in life impact our mental and physical health;

• Chronic workplace stress that is not being managed well;

• What the conditions are that set someone up for burnout, as defined by the world health organisation (WHO);

• How the working conditions and the 40 hour work week were created 150 years ago when we had more community support for families and roles and expectations for parents were very different;

• Burnout as a complex systemic issue and what are the solutions that we can put in place to solve it;

• It starts with us as individuals being clear about our own limits and boundaries and learning to identify what a YES and NO feels like in our body.

Dr Ash really has fantastic perspective on this so make sure you listen to the very end because there are some really wise words she has for all of us. If you would like to connect with Dr Ash you can find her at drashleabroomfield.com.au, on instagram @thevitalitydoctor. On facebook Dr Ashlea Broomfield - The Vitality Doctor.

Ep 53 Moving through life with greater ease with Sophia Breust

As we get older many of us experience joint pain and muscle pain. We think it is just our old joints but it might very well be dry fascia. In this episode I talk to Sophia Breust who is a structural integration practitioner about the many benefits of working with fascia.

Sophia has an interesting story and her own health and wellbeing today is a direct reflection of the benefits of structural integration. After going through some relational trauma in 2014, Sophia was diagnosed with PTSD. Experiencing symptoms from extreme anxiety, recurring nightmares, and shakes to lethargy, Sophia explored talk therapy to help resolve what she thought was a problem in her mind. Over 2 years, she showed up religiously to her psychology sessions, but she felt she wasn't getting anywhere.

​After years of looking for answers and feeling totally helpless, Sophia found Structural Integration & Myofascial Bodywork (MFB) and realised how disconnected she was from her physical body. This was the missing link for her; the problem wasn't just in her mind, it was in her body! Trauma is stored in the body, and if we become disconnected from the sensations that are going on in our physical body, our mind won't get a chance to be at ease.

After many years of healing, processing, feeling, and deeply connecting to her body, Sophia now helps many people make sense of their physical pain and what may be going on for them emotionally. She calls this Emotional Anatomy. While a free and open fascial system creates a more balanced emotional state, Sophia has seen the impact of MFB on excellent recovery, lymph & blood flow, and injury prevention. MFB, according to Sophia and many of her clients, is truly life-changing!

In this episode we talk about all things fascia, the bodymind connection, healing trauma and a bit about ageing bodies. Sophia is based in Adelaide, Australia, you can find Sophia on instagram @muscle_sense or via her website www.musclesense.net

Ep 52 The Midlife Mysteries

Midlife is a profoundly transformational life transition that all people experience. It occurs generally at some period between 40 and 60 years of age for most people. Some people may start late thirties. It happens over time it is a general unfolding. Midlife awakening supports our growth into emotional adulthood.

Midlife is not a crisis it is an awakening. It is about healing your childhood adaptive strategies to become your most authentic self. The development challenge of midlife is radical honesty with yourself. There is a strong mystical side to the midlife transition and this can be best understood by using archetypes to explore the story and road map of what this transition is all about.

What about menopause and how does this fit in? Menopause is the end of our fertility and it is part of the midlife transition. Our hormones changes facilitate growth and development, physically, psychologically, culturally through the different phases of our lifetime.

Listen in to find out which feminine archetype I have found the most useful to provide guidance in what is required in midlife to support our growth during this transition.

If you would like to explore the mystical side of midlife transition more deeply you can also explore my ebook Magical Midlife and Menopause and my Midlife Masterclasses.

EP 51 Supporting your body with nutrition in Midlife with Annie Gaudreault

In midlife, we start to notice changes in how our body metabolises food, how we recover from exercise and how we are able to deal with stress in our life. No longer can we drink lots of alcohol and pull up OK the next morning. Maybe there are a few sneaky kilograms piling on. This is because as we enter perimenopause, our hormones start to shift how we metabolise food and this impacts on many areas of our health.

Annie Gaudreault, who is a Licenced Nutritionist and Health Coach from Toronto, CA, joins me in the podcast to talk about the impact of nutrition on our life as we move into our midlife. Annie specialises in working with women in midlife to make sense of all the wellness information out there and to make sustainable changes to their health and wellbeing.

Annie has her own interesting midlife transition story. She started running in her 30s and as she approached her midlife transition she really trained hard and found emotional and mental resilience expanded and she was able to deepen her running expertise to run marathons. From there she moved into competing in Iron Man Triathlons. For Annie her midlife transition was an awakening. An awakening to becoming her true self and pursuing a new career in nutrition that created more meaning in her life.

• In the podcast we talked about:

• The lack of education around menopause and how this impacts our lifestyle choices,

• The impact of estrogen decline on other hormones in particular our metabolic health,

• How estrogen decline impacts on how our body can process sugar and simple carbohydrates. The impact on insulin production and how this may cause insulin insensitivity and pre-diabetes health issues,

• Strategies to deal with addiction to sugar and carbohydrates,

• Fibre and Protein in our diet and how eating more of these in midlife supports our health,

• How internalised cultural belief systems impact our perception of midlife and the impact of it on our life.

You can find Annie at www.veev.ca or on instagram @veev_wellness. Annie works globally online, so if you would like to book a time to talk to her about your nutrition needs at midlife you can book a call via her website.

Ep 50 Navigating life with self compassion with Belinda Haan

How do we navigate life with self compassion? What is self-compassion? Today I welcome Belinda Haan to my podcast, Talkin' about Midlife, to talk about how we can navigate life with self-compassion.

Belinda Haan is a mindfulness teacher, multidisciplinary coach and creator and humble guide to the full joy, catastrophe and sacredness of life.  She is the creator of "Emotional Support for Mothers" - simple practice for difficult days. This toolkit is a thorough guide for simple exercises we can use when we are having a tough day.

In this podcast Belinda and I have a great chat about what self-compassion means, why it is so hard for us to demonstrate it to ourselves, how we can learn to demonstrate it and how it supports us to thrive in life. We talk about our own journey with self compassion and how challenging it can be.

Belinda shares many examples during the podcast of the ways we sabotage ourselves and how our inner critic can get in the way of accessing self compassion to support us in life.

An Ambassador of Compassion with Stanford University, Belinda founded The Compassion Project and created The Emotional Support for Mothers Toolkit. She also delivers classes, coaching and other experiences at belindahaan.com

You can buy the Emotional support for mothers toolkit at www.thecompassionproject.au and you can find Belinda on instagram at @thecompassionproject.au

Ep 48 Women, Power and Deep Knowing with Celine Levy

When it comes to midlife we often talk about the concept of ‘women stepping into their power”, what does this actually mean? Well in today’s episode I will unpack that with my friend and colleague Celine Levy. Celine is a Sex and Power coach who works with women to help them gain a sense of agency and connection with their bodies.

Celine and I talk about power and how it is relational and what is actually happening in the neurobiology of the body when we are not in an ‘empowered’ stance; by the way we both really dislike the word empowered.

Celine has a really interesting story and her path to this work, showed her that ‘power over’ another can be devastating, and how the cultural conditions in an environment can set us up for these experiences as we adapt to cultures to try and belong and feel safe. This close shave with a cult has propelled her forward into work with women so that they can learn to listen to their bodies through building a strong connection with their nervous system and the messages it sends.

In this podcast we talk about:

• What power is, how it can only exist within a relationship and how the state of our nervous system drives our responses to what we are experiencing.

• How when we interact with another person there are two conversations going on at the same time. There is the conscious dialogue that comes through the mouth and at the same time our nervous system is having a conversation and when there is a mis-match between the two we notice this in particular ways.

• How we can rewire and re-pattern the nervous system to achieve a different outcome.

• How estrogen creates a biological behavioural drive for soothing, connection and accommodation and when in our post menopause life we don’t have those high estrogen levels, this impacts on our behavioural response.

• You can do all the fancy communication classes you want but if you don’t do the work on your autonomic nervous system you won’t get the result you are after.

• We all have a sense of deep knowing in our body. When we disconnect from our bodies we lose this connection. Reconnecting with our bodies builds reconnects us with our deep knowing.

• How our cultural conditioning impacts on our acceptance and willingness (often unconsciously) to demonstrate certain behaviours.

• How learning to hold the energy of sensation and emotion within the body, gives you more power and therefore more options in how you are able to choose to respond to what life throws your way.

You can find Celine at www.celinelevy.com or on instagram at @thelovedwitch or her french language instagram account @sorcierotique

Ep 47 Midlife the path to authenticity with Dianne Shepherd

For my last podcast of the year, my good friend and colleague Dianne Shepherd, joined me as we talked about all the weird and whacky stuff that can happen in our midlife transition. We actually recorded it a few months ago but I wanted to leave it until the end of the year, a little Christmas and New Year gift to you. Dianne’s work focuses on supporting midlife women in sacred sexuality, connecting with their sensuality and pleasure and really building a sacred relationship with their body. Dianne is also an astrologer so we went there too.

We talked about Dianne’s own turbulent midlife transition and how it was a healing pathway for her. How finding pleasure practices helped her find and connect with her authentic self.

You will also hear us discuss astrology and the major midlife transits that happen and how they impact on us. In particular, Uranus opposition, Chiron return and Venus return. We experience 3 Venus returns in midlife (around 40, 48 and 56 years of age approximately), how all of these returns of supportive of our emotional growth and healing if we embrace them and pay attention to what is coming up for us.

Dianne and I also spoke about how in our fifties the integration of masculine and feminine energies is common and this is also reflected in psychology literature as well and talked about as anima and animus. That this integration is important and midlife as it is an enabler of deep connection with parts of ourself and necessary to be able to step into elderhood and the roles we are required to take up in community in these years.

You can find Dianne at her website www.shakticore.com and on instagram @vital.goddess. She is also has an amazing podcast you can find on Spotify called The Vital Goddess.

Ep 45 Creating and running a socially responsible, sustainable business with Christine McDougall

As the world we live and work in has become more complex, we have had to change the way we live and work. Our global society has gone through significant change but the way we create and build businesses has not.

How we approach organisational design, redesigning organisational processes for complexity has been the most challenging aspect for many business owners regardless of their size. Unfortunately many of our big societal processes and systems are broken and falling apart because the very foundations and rules that guide them, do not account for the full complex picture of what is actually happening in their business. The externalities that they produce are having far reaching and detrimental impacts on the wider communities they exist within. I have been waiting for years for someone to tackle this head on and there are a few brave visionary souls out there who are ready to do this.

Christine McDougall is one of them. Christine is a visionary, a writer, a pioneer and self-described edge dweller. She created Syntropic World to educate and build systems and processes to support the running of business in a VUCA world that support the health of the planet. Christine works at the level of societal and organisational change by educating individuals and teams on how to create the day to day of running their business so that it supports our society to thrive. Her mission is to educate people to build sustainable organisations that support the health of the planet.

In this podcast we hope to challenge your thinking on how you run your business. You will also hear about Christine’s midlife transition and how it has supported her to be radically honest with herself and step into her wise woman power.

You can find Christine at www.syntropic.worldorld/, on facebook at Syntropic World and Instagram @syntropicworld