This time of year can be hard. It is busy with Christmas celebrations, buying presents and family get togethers. In the southern hemisphere we have double the pressure to finish up things at work because many people are breaking to go on summer holidays. The thought of family celebrations can be stressful. It is hard when you have done lot of work on your inner child to find yourself back in the family system that caused all those triggers in the first place. We often get caught in so much busy time, that we ignore the signs our body is giving us to slow down and just be. So I thought for my last blog for the year that I would write about receiving.
Receiving is a key to Women’s Empowerment. It is almost impossible to be nourished and practice self-care properly if we cannot receive and we cannot nourish and care for others if we have nothing to give. Being receptive is also a critical element of community; when we receive we participate in an exchange in community that sustains all aspects of community. There is little reflection or understanding of receiving in most people’s worlds; it is not valued as something we need to learn. Self Care is something that few people do well. We seem to value giving more than receiving and often do it in a way that makes being receptive seem to be a sign of inadequacy or neediness. In the book the Tao Te Ching, the feminine expression of receiving is the counter balance to the masculine expressiveness. We all have a masculine and feminine energy within us, regardless of gender.
The tools of listening, intuition and attentiveness without action, are all expressions of receiving. They will deepen our capacity to nourish ourselves. We can get stuck in old repetitive habits and patterns if we cannot receive. How do women today who are filled up with conditioned thoughts and values of how they should show up in the world learn to receive? How do women whose voices has rarely been heard learn to listen? Well it takes a lot of practice for your nervous system to feel safe to receive.
One thing I learned from my practice of Qi Gong is that a womans receptivity is a strong part of her energetic makeup. Men’s Energy fields are strongly focused around their heads, often the front of their head. Interestingly they often are focused on tasks. Womens energy fields are often dispersed. They radiate out in many directions. They take and receive energy from many different perspectives, their field more open, less restricted. Is all this openness the reason for the strong sense of knowing and intuition that women have? Women seem to connect more easily . We connect with our children through our bodies, we connect to the earth easily, we foster connections with people. Does our natural affinity for connection and receptivity mean we are good at it. Not necessarily.
Many physical things on the planet, take in and receive. Plants, Trees, Animals all take in some form of food or oxygen. We humans just produce and do. Do, Do, Do. Women are conditioned in our society to give, give, give. We habitually nourish others and we leak a lot of our own energy. We attune to our children to support them. When you stay in this pattern of nurturing others, you can easily forget that you have a self that is separate to them. A self that needs to be cared for and maintained. I recall many years ago a client asked me to design a workshop that would teach his team to be human beings not human doings. It was a challenge but we got there.
When you start a practice of self-care and take time every day to do something for yourself, you open up to a new paradigm of receiving. You can start to discern what feels good and what does not, what and who supports you and what and who does not. You experience an increase in life force energy in all of your energy centres. Your body fills with pleasure. Give yourself permission to practice receiving every day. Give yourself permission to hold this energy within every day, it will sustain you. The more you practice this, the more comfortable your nervous system (you) will feel with practicing receiving.
What are some practices of self care that you can give to yourself? When someone compliments you, receive it, thank them. Think about the food that you put in your body is it nourishing? Take walks in nature, nature is a huge source of energetic nourishment. Dancing is a huge source of energy for women. Or you could try some form of meditation. It doesn’t have to be a meditation that is still, there are many forms of dynamic meditation that are nourishing. Ten minutes of Breathwork will do wonders for your body. This holiday season practice breaking some old patterns. If you are tired, choose yourself first over going to parties or meetings that will not serve you well. Cut down on screen time. Focus on spending time with people who support you and love you. Spend some time being quiet and resting.
Women have so much capacity to be receptive if they draw in and listen to themselves. Listen to your body, this will translate to listening to your emotions, your truth, your creativity, your desires and your knowledge. The listening happens through your entire system, all your energy centres but the primary centre is your heart. Listening to yourself is an act of radical self care. It takes courage, commitment and time. Women thrive when we listen inwardly and align to our own wisdom through our listening.